The Masquerade
It looks like you haven't signed in yet!

If you aren't a member, sign up today!
The Masquerade
It looks like you haven't signed in yet!

If you aren't a member, sign up today!
The Masquerade
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.



 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  SearchSearch  Latest imagesLatest images  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

 

 -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir

Go down 
2 posters
AuthorMessage
Noir
Master of Ceremonies
Noir


Posts : 230
Points : 44350
Join date : 2012-05-13
Age : 29
Location : Where you'll have roses for years. Where you'll apologize to no one.

-Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir Empty
PostSubject: -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir   -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir EmptySun Jan 06, 2013 8:09 pm

So yeah, I revised the concept of my novel a bit. I was trying to write it in a full-out novel format, but it was moving too slowly, and I'm nowhere near where I want to be. But since I'm releasing this as an e-book eventually, I was thinking of releasing it as a serial novel instead. I'll put out "episodes" instead of giant chunks to keep the plot line moving quicker.

So yeah. I'll be posting the stuff here.
Back to top Go down
https://themasquerade.forumotion.com
Noir
Master of Ceremonies
Noir


Posts : 230
Points : 44350
Join date : 2012-05-13
Age : 29
Location : Where you'll have roses for years. Where you'll apologize to no one.

-Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir   -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir EmptySun Jan 06, 2013 8:10 pm

This is the currently released chapter! It'll be up for only as long as it takes to write the next one.



Chapter 0

The old man made his way slowly down Westhaven’s crowded streets, his hands tucked snugly away in the pockets of his black peacoat. His black dress shoes clacked rhythmically against the worn sidewalk, the sound joining the dissonant harmony formed by the cars passing on the street and the chatter that was ever present in an urban sprawl. His stride was firm, confident in a form that seemed to deny his age.

Around him was a world caught in perpetual motion. In this day and age, time was immaterial. Technology rendered everything instant. Information, communication, and worldly possessions…everything was available to everyone, and accessible in less time than it would take to snap one’s fingers. It was a world where anyone could be powerful, a world where the powerful drank far too deeply from life’s springs.

Here and now, Death was of little concern. Man feared the void much less. They lived in decadence and ignorance, not bothering to look beyond the finite span that their bodies had been gifted with. They knew nothing, so they chose to bask in nothing. What came after their lungs ceased to draw breath made them shudder and cower, made all too aware of their fragility. So they chose to stop acknowledging it. They shrouded it in fog and reduced it to a vision defined by myths and fables.

But he was here. He had seen dirt roads paved over with stone, and then those roads broken down to give way to asphalt. He had been there to see huts change into houses, to see candles extinguished in favor of light bulbs, and he had seen glorious castles and bastions bow to steel towers that reached up to touch the heavens. He was a testament to the majesty of time. He was proof. He spat at their petty existences. They meant nothing. Nothing.

Despite all their progress, their “power”, their “knowledge”, he still held the final card. He still had absolute power.
It had already begun. His game was alive in all its glory, right on the streets of Westhaven. With each passing day, more and more were being drawn into the Gambit. It would prove to be a promising year. His lips curved upwards slightly at the thought.

He cast his eyes upwards at the street stretching almost endlessly out in front of him. There were so many insignificant little figures bustling around that busy street. Each was a potential candidate. He could turn any one of them into a Player at any moment. But which one? He saw men and women, young and old. Each was unique in their own right, but what would they become when they held but a taste of his power in their hands? Humanity’s savagery needed only a small push to awaken itself. It needed but a small window to change them from a person to…something more.

His aged blue eyes locked into a sea of green. It glinted under a mop of dark brown, almost black, hair. A boy was walking several paces in front of him, but closing the distance fast. A slight scowl played on his lips, and his emerald eyes kept darting back and forth as if every passerby that came too close annoyed him to no end. He didn’t seem to be used to the crowds at all.

A tourist, then? No, he’s still carrying his suitcase. The hotels aren’t in this direction, either. A newcomer, perhaps? Here to stay…

As if to confirm his thoughts, a voice spoke up from somewhere behind him.

“Noel!”

The boy glanced up at the voice, scanning the area in front of him. His gaze rolled over the old man once or twice before centering on a young man with short sandy brown hair. The old man glanced backwards for a moment, considering the man who shouted for a moment before smiling and turning back around. The boy had already started to move forward. He was just at arm’s length now. The old man only had to alter his path slightly…

“Ah. Sorry.”

The boy glanced at the man he had just bumped shoulders with, his eyes widening a bit when he noticed the man’s thinning white hair and wrinkled face. The man waved him off, though, offering only a smile in return.

“That’s quite alright, my boy,” he replied, nodding before continuing to move forward. The boy didn’t pursue the conversation any further. That was fine. It was already done. He kept his steady pace as he pressed onward down the street, smiling subtly to himself. His eyes flashed a deep shade of violet for a moment, too quickly for anyone walking on the street to catch.

Yes, this is going to be a good year…


Chapter 1

Noel glanced back one more time at the old man’s retreating figure. He watched him making his way down the claustrophobic street, not fazed in the slightest from the collision. Even the old-timers in Westhaven seemed to be handling the environment a lot better than he was. The dark haired boy was used to suburban hell. In the world he came from, the houses stood in uniform lines. Each was almost identical to the other, set apart only by the occasional flower patch or lawn ornament, streets evenly spaced to the last fraction of an inch within the gated community. “Pine Bridge Villas” the sign had read, somewhere down the street from his old house. Noel had personally coined the place “Paradise for OCD freaks”.

But standing there in the bustling urban sprawl, he couldn’t help missing the sense of awkward security that came with living in a quiet neighborhood. There, you could walk five blocks without seeing a single soul. Westhaven’s streets had him peering around the person walking in front of him, trying to get a better handle on exactly where he was. The impact with the old man had rattled him a bit, but the guy had seemed friendly enough. He had just continued on his way, not even stopping long enough for Noel to give him a better apology.

Not much else I could do, though. Better not to start an awkward scene I don’t know how to finish, Noel admitted, shrugging the incident off before scanning the crowd for where he had seen his older brother only a moment ago. It didn’t take him too long. Noah wasn’t that hard to spot, waving obnoxiously and hollering Noel’s name. His older brother had always been the louder out of the two of them, the first to make friends in new schools, the first to achieve in every sport he played, and funnily enough, the first to chase his dreams instead of going into what their mother would call “an actual career”. Sure enough, Noah chose to do away with the four years he spent at Westhaven Central University and instead take up a job as a bartender in one of the city’s clubs. Or at least, that’s what Noel had heard. He hadn’t actually spoken to his brother in years. Noah barely called the house, and Noel wasn’t exactly one to chase his brother down.

But there he was, waving Noel down only a few feet away, his mouth curved in his usual crazy grin. Noel let himself smile as he closed the distance between them, weaving his way through the crowd until he got close enough for Noah to hook around his neck with the crook of his arm, pulling him in close in an almost painful hug. His elder brother laughed as Noel braced his hands on the outside of his arm, trying to pull loose.

“Hell of a way to say hello after three years,” Noel choked out, half grunting, half laughing as he struggled against his brother’s grip, “Making a scene in the middle of the street and then nearly strangling me!”

“You see plenty worse on these streets, kiddo,” Noah moved to reposition his arm, and Noel took the chance to break free. He sprang back out from under the hold, punching him playfully on the arm as he did. “Man, you’ve grown. How old are you now? Fifteen? Sixteen?”

“Nineteen, jackass.”

“Right, right, I thought I missed a birthday or two.”

“You’re horrible, Noah,” a light voice chimed in from beside Noah. Noel shook his hair from his eyes, noticing whom it belonged to. A slender blond girl waved at him before offering her hand and a friendly smile. Her bangs brushed the tops of her eyebrows, her long ponytail bobbing as she shifted her weight to her other leg. Her eyes were a shade of deep cerulean, drawing Noel in to the point where he had to remind himself that she wanted to shake his hand.

Handshake. Right. Get with it, Noel.

He played off his blank-out moment with a smile, grasping her hand in his. The skin under his was smooth to the touch, but the grip was firm. The girl looked at him for a moment before shifting her gaze to Noah. Another moment, and she looked back at him. The smile widened on her face. “I’m Ava. I live with your brother. He’s told me a lot about you Noel. You two look so much alike!”

Noel looked over at Noah, taking a good look at him for the first time that day. The first time in years. His light brown hair was cut short, trimmed clean and spiked up at the front. His eyes held the same mischievous glint that had always made Noel suspect that he was constantly keeping secrets. The emerald pools seemed to be a bit more tired now, though, and Noel wondered if his brother’s job took a lot out of him. A light scruff was present on his chin and face, looking more like a carefully trimmed endeavor than a neglect to shave that morning. He definitely looked twenty-six, but he acted seventeen. That was fine, though. Noel would have been worried if things were any different.

But he scowled a bit at the “look so much alike” bit of Ava’s comment. Back home, his reputation consisted mostly of being Noah’s little brother. It wasn’t as if he resented it; he never once thought that he was riding on Noah’s coattails, or living in his shadow. He just liked having something of his own to be identified as. But naturally, he wasn’t going to blurt all that out to someone he had just met. He didn’t even think Noah understood it completely.

“You think so?” was his reply instead. Sure it sounded a bit lame, but he couldn’t really think of anything else to say.

Ava nodded. “It’s the eyes. You’ve got that same bright green.”

“It used to be the hair, too,” Noah said, looking at Noel’s long dark hair and striking a pose like an engaged art critic. “It’s gotten pretty long, hasn’t it?”

More to make sure I don’t look like little Noah. Noel nodded, twitching his head subtly to move his long bangs out of his eyes as he did. “Well, you know. New look.”

New look for a new city. Westhaven was like nothing Noel had ever seen. Each step on the sidewalk seemed to be alive. A vendor wasn’t just on every corner, but on every half block, too. An ever-shifting ocean of people moved up and down the sidewalks and the streets, setting the air around abuzz with chatter. People were talking to each other. People were shouting into the streets. People were murmuring into phones. It all blended together into a disjointed symphony that seemed to play on and on. The buildings seemed to reach almost defiantly into the sky, like they chose to deny the ground that they stood on. They were taller than anything that Noel had ever seen. The closest would have to be the telephone towers back home. But here, the skyscrapers glinted in the brilliant orange gleam of the waning day’s sun. The approaching night meant nothing to this city. The approaching dark couldn’t silence a thing. The city had a breath of its own, and refused to fall asleep.

Noah followed Noel’s gaze, taking in the sight of a city ever in motion. “It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it? It was a lot to take in on my first day, I remember that much.”

“It’s a lot, that’s for sure,” Noel said, tearing his gaze from the electronic billboard advertisement he had been watching. Naturally, he couldn’t spend the rest of his day watching a looped commercial for soda. Noah motioned for him to follow as he began to make his way down the street. Noel nodded, and fell into step beside him on the left, so that he didn’t get between him and Ava.

“No car?” Noel asked.

“No, I just didn’t bother to take it,” Noah answered, “The apartment’s actually not too far away from the train station. That’s the thing about Central Westhaven. Most of the places you’ll ever need to go to are within walking distance. It saves us a ton on gas.”

“Convenient.”

“For everything else, the Metro’s still a better bet,” Ava chimed in, “Traffic is a nightmare no matter where you go in the city. Plus, maybe it’s just me, but there’s something really relaxing about a quiet subway ride.”

She leaned over from beside Noah. “Did you enjoy your ride in, Noel?”

Noel grimaced a bit when he recalled it. He must have crapped out when it came to getting a “quiet subway ride”. He had managed to grab a seat on the dimly lit train, and that definitely beat standing up for the entire trip. But at some point during the ride, a slightly heavyset couple spotted the open seats on both sides of him and decided that they shouldn’t leave them unoccupied. Noel spent the rest of that ride sandwiched, and to make matters worse, the couple kept talking across him as if he wasn’t even there. He got a full forty-five minutes of “gossip time with Mr. and Mrs. Hansen”.

“It was a bit cramped,” Noel answered finally, opting to take the high road, “But then again, I guess that’s just something I’ll need to get used to.”

“It’s a far cry from home, isn’t it?” Noah nodded, pausing for a moment to weave through a particularly dense group of people coming their way. Noel, not moving fast enough, bumped shoulders with one of them. The man promptly responded by turning around with his arms out to his sides as he continued to walk away backwards, wordlessly daring Noel to take his best shot.

“Come off it, jackass!” Noel called, flicking the retreating man off.

Ava laughed softly before sliding her hand into Noah’s, leaning slightly against him as the three of them continued to walk.

“He seems like he’ll do just fine here.”

Noah grinned as he grabbed his brother’s shoulder and pulled him back around.

“Yeah…he’ll be just fine.”

By the time the three of them made it to Noah’s apartment, the last traces of sunlight had already faded from the sky. The walk actually hadn’t been that long, but it had already been a bit late when Noel left the Metro. The fiery glint of setting sunlight on glass was replaced by the cool glow of neon lights and electronic billboards. They were like their own little suns, bathing the streets in almost every color imaginable. Or rather, more like a manmade starscape, brilliant beams forming luminous, shining shapes against the dark backdrop. They danced right over Noel’s head as he came to a stop under a large awning protruding from just one of the large buildings that lined that street. The apartment was slightly different from the other buildings he had passed on the way over there. The only lights present were placed close to the building’s entrance, the only other source of light being the soft beams coming from the room windows. Balconies accompanied each of those windows, sticking out in even lines, towering with the building up towards the sky.

“That one’s ours,” Noah pointed out from beside Noel, his finger motioning towards one of the balconies higher up, resting on the right side of the building, “Twelfth floor. It’s got a great view of the city from out there. Plus, the room you’ll be staying in faces the same side as that balcony. Nice and scenic. I thought you might appreciate that.”

“I do. But some food would be nice right now, too,” Noel admitted. The pangs in his stomach were getting harder and harder to ignore. He had decided not to stop at any of the fast food places at the subway stations in order to save time, but he was starting to regret passing them up. The last thing he had eaten was the dry cereal he had devoured that morning before heading out.

“Soon enough, kiddo,” Noah laughed and ruffled his brother’s hair. “Hang in there.”

“I’ll fix you up something nice, Noel,” Ava volunteered, patting his shoulder as she walked up to the apartment’s entrance and opened the door. Soft ambient music floated outside from the lobby, which Noel thought looked a lot more like it belonged to a hotel than a city apartment. The floors were recently cleaned, and the air inside felt crisp and fresh as he took a breath in. Neat arrangements of lounge chairs and matching sofas surrounded two coffee table setups nearby, their design matching the elegant simplicity of the rest of the room. Two attendants chatted leisurely at the front desk, one looking up momentarily to wave at Noah and Ava before turning back to his conversation. Noel followed the other two into a small side hallway where two elevators stood, one on each side.

“You’re lucky you came this week and not the week before.”

Noel glanced questioningly at Noah, and then at Ava as she let out a small giggle.

“These elevators have a bad tendency of breaking down. They were out almost all of last week. The repair people just got it up and running again last Saturday,” Ava explained, pressing the button to call the elevator while she spoke, “Every time these things break down, we’re stuck running up the stairs.”

Noel grinned slightly at the mental picture of his brother climbing a grueling twelve flights from the ground floor up to his room. I probably shouldn’t laugh. Might run into the same problem while I’m here. But still…that’s pretty damn funny.

The thought made him savor the leisurely elevator ride to the twelfth floor. When the doors opened, they walked to the end of the hallway, stopping at the very last door on the street side. Noah paused a moment, fumbling in his pockets for the key before finally getting the door open, strolling inside the room and turning the lights on.

Overall, the place was surprisingly well kept. Noah’s room back home had looked like ground zero for some horrendous natural disaster, so Noel had been mentally preparing himself for more of the same in a place that his brother actually called home. But everything seemed to be neatly tidied up and in its place, an accomplishment that Noel attributed to Ava’s influence. A small kitchen was to Noel’s immediate left when he stepped into the apartment room, complete with an electric stovetop and a decently sized fridge. The living room housed one sofa and one recliner, set around a glass coffee table laden with a few newspapers and magazines. A flat screen TV was perched on the wall, flanked on both sides by an impressive looking speaker. On the wall opposite were a number of shelves that held books, DVDs, and a number of framed photos. On closer inspection, Noel actually noticed one of their family a few years ago. In it he stood next to his older brother, the two of them looking strikingly similar with their matching haircuts, their mother on one side, their father on the other.

Huh. How long has it been since we were a family like that? Noel mused, a half-smile crossing his face as he thought. He didn’t have too much time to mull over it too much, though, before Ava took a hold of his arm and dragged him towards a hallway to the left of the living room. She opened the first door on the right, motioning for Noel to look inside.

“This…well, it used to be the guest room. You’ll be calling it yours.”

Noel glanced around the small bedroom. A cozy looking bed stood in the corner, its black sheets folded and stacked on top of two pillows on the mattress. A slightly old laptop sat on top of a wooden desk with plenty of drawers for Noel to throw all his useless junk in. The closet that stood opposite the bed was just the right size for the clothes that were going to arrive from Pine Bridge in a few days.

But Noah was right. The window right in front of where Noel was standing gave him an amazing view of the streets below. He walked right up to it, opening it and peering off towards the direction they had come from. The afterglow from the glowing lights stained his skin in color as he leaned out into the night, staring towards the city that was now his. He could really get used to the view at, a pulsing lightshow to fall asleep to each night. Then and there, Noel started to feel like he was home.

“Noel!”

Noel pulled his head back inside the room, closing the window and turning to see his brother standing in the doorway, a beer in both hands.

“Come on. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”


Last edited by Noir on Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
https://themasquerade.forumotion.com
Noir
Master of Ceremonies
Noir


Posts : 230
Points : 44350
Join date : 2012-05-13
Age : 29
Location : Where you'll have roses for years. Where you'll apologize to no one.

-Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir   -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir EmptySun Jan 06, 2013 8:13 pm

Chapter 0, the prologue chapter, has just been posted! Feedback and critique would be appreciated!
Back to top Go down
https://themasquerade.forumotion.com
Sevrin
Tacti-cool Masque
Sevrin


Posts : 269
Points : 44485
Join date : 2012-05-14
Age : 29
Location : [Redacted]

-Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir   -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir EmptyMon Jan 07, 2013 1:39 am

More God Damnit! More!
Back to top Go down
Noir
Master of Ceremonies
Noir


Posts : 230
Points : 44350
Join date : 2012-05-13
Age : 29
Location : Where you'll have roses for years. Where you'll apologize to no one.

-Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir   -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir EmptyWed Jan 23, 2013 9:43 pm

Chapter One is up! I need criticism and feedback, guise! :3
Back to top Go down
https://themasquerade.forumotion.com
Sevrin
Tacti-cool Masque
Sevrin


Posts : 269
Points : 44485
Join date : 2012-05-14
Age : 29
Location : [Redacted]

-Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir   -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir EmptyWed Jan 23, 2013 10:42 pm

I find myself giving a damn about the main character.

In other words, you're doing well.
Back to top Go down
Noir
Master of Ceremonies
Noir


Posts : 230
Points : 44350
Join date : 2012-05-13
Age : 29
Location : Where you'll have roses for years. Where you'll apologize to no one.

-Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir   -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir EmptyMon Feb 11, 2013 10:03 am

Chapter 2 is in the works! Stay tuned!
Back to top Go down
https://themasquerade.forumotion.com
Sponsored content





-Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir   -Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir Empty

Back to top Go down
 
-Death's Gambit- The *revised* novel by Noir
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» -Dead Gamble- A Story by Noir

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Masquerade :: Original Work :: Stories-
Jump to: